The Roasted Chicken Incident

I apologize for not posting but I had jury duty and no access to a working computer. Anyway, this has been an interesting couple of days. First off, Saturday BP II came home from visiting his family for Thanksgiving. I was so happy to see him and wanted to make a special welcome home dinner. I knew he did not have a turkey on Thursday, so I thought making a roasted chicken would be well received. When I went to Food Emporium I bought a whole bird because I thought it would be special and I can use the leftovers. I get home and get ready to roast the chicken, take chicken out of the wrapping, cut veggies, place in the cavity, melt butter and spread on chicken. As I am spreading the butter I noticed something odd. What is that sticking out of my bird? A NECK! WTF what is a neck doing still attached to my bird. Naturally I screamed. BP II comes over to investigate. I am freaking out and screaming for him to remove it. He tries but the bird is already stuffed and buttered (A very slippery little sucker) and of course still attached to the vertebrae, which is not easily cut without a cleaver (which I do not have). It was awful. I had this big beautiful bird with a little penis hanging off. Terrible.


The roasted chicken actually tasted really good. I sautéed up some spinach and mashed up a roasted butternut squash to finish the meal. It was almost perfect but this is my life.

Roasted Chicken


Ingredients:
1 Whole Chicken
¼ cup of butter – ½ cup depending on size of bird
1 medium onion
3 cloves of garlic
3 thyme sprigs
3 rosemary sprigs
Olive oil
Salt and Pepper

Directions:

1.) Preheat oven to 325º

2.) Roughly chop veggies and place in bowl. Drizzle with olive oil and combine. Place inside the cavity of the bird

3.) Melt butter and with a basting brush, rub all over bird

4.) Season with salt and pepper and tie legs together with twine. Tuck wings.

5.) Place in 325º oven covered with tinfoil for 30 minutes and then raise temperature to 425º and cook for 60 minutes or until chicken reaches 165º F. This time could be longer or shorter depending on the size of the bird. Periodically baste bird with juices. It is important not to overcook because you will end up with a dry bird.